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Mmmm. I love home. It really is the sweetest place to be. Or I guess the sweetest place to... well, be in heart I suppose. Cause it's not the house I love (as much I do so love what we've created here)... but more so the spirit of honesty and being so real. The way your heart, it's motives and desires, wishes and dreams, it's failures, its filth - it's all in the open in such a raw way. Yet in a good way. Home - or being in the close circle of family - always has a nice little tendency to bring me back to what's true and really important. The story-times, and carrying little sisters to bed to tuck them in or pray with them. The 'goodnights' resounding along the hallway, and down the stairs as everyone climbs to their own beds. It's family, and I love it.

I've felt such a peace today. About everything. I guess I've been in a place a lot lately where I'm just tired of having to grow up. Sound pretty lame, doesn't it?? It does to me, too. But that's what I've felt, and I'm being honest here. I really just don't like all the responsibility. Having to be so sure of things, understanding so many things, knowing how to handle so many difficult situations! Yesterday was really one of those days were it was hitting me again, and you know what He did? He gave me the permission to be humble. To lay all my troubles before Him, to tell Him all my worries. To be honest, and real and raw... just like family is supposed to be. He also gave me the reassurance I need that, really - I will never be able to handle all the the responsibility. I will never be sure of everything. I will never understand everything I want to. I will never know how to handle every situation. I'm going to mess up sometimes, and there are going to be times I wish I didn't have to be a big girl. But God is a big God, and He never messes up. He knows how I am to live this life, and live it well. Because, with the right perspective? I can't do it. Any of it. And the beauty of it all is that HE CAN. Did I already know that? Of course! BUT, do I need reminded of that? Even more so. I'm so thankful for the rest and peace I can find when I seek His face... no matter the trouble I'm in, no matter the size: He's always there to offer hope and a hand to lift me and tell me it's okay. That HE is God, and I am not. And... as much as I almost hate to say it... I'm thankful for the times like these that He uses to tell me the things I need to hear. He always has a nice little tendency of doing so. ;-)

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