Pastor Jeff's thought on learning from the past (not being controlled by it, however - neither regret of the past, or discontentment with the present from comparing to the past) rang very true for me today when I read through a little of one of my 2-year-old journals/thoughts on scripture.  Its amazing how much you can learn from... well, what you've learned before.  Reading my 15-year-old thoughts convicted me, actually, of where I need to be now.  I needed that "child-like faith" spark of my 15-year-old self to be renewed, that complete trust in One higher than me.  Even though I know that I've learned SO very much since then... so much in these past 12 months in particular... I need to get back to some of the basics.  Our lives have been so crazy full (and jam-packed with a lot of nice, emotional melt-downs from all... including myself of course ;-), and I've been forced to my knees so many times realizing that God knows best...  that God becomes something ordinary, Someone I start to forget to make special time for, love talking with about my everyday life, and sharing thoughts on scripture - even if it isn't relating to what has been on my mind!  (I feel like I'm starting to sound like an old married spouse... =P)  Basically... I miss that, and realize that I've gotten away from "going out of my way" to work on my relationship with God, rather than just settling with letting God work on our relationship through the difficulties in life (not just needing Him, but really enjoying Him for all He is).  All humans need both... but both.  Not just the latter.

I was convicted on Sunday during another of Pr Jeff's sermons that I have forgotten to be thankful.  Its actually just hitting me now that thankfulness was actually my year's attribute to work on - phew, that's embarrassing.  He was talking about how when life is just plain hard, we still need to focus on all the good - not on the bad.  Focusing on the negatives of life only darkens your eyes to the positive.  I was reminded of how many times in scripture I am taught to be thankful.  I need to start focusing on the good around me - I am so so blessed.  So much.  And its extremely selfish to keep crying my eyes out because I'm tired with the rate life has been going or just overwhelmed (which, yes, does happen at times).  I need to keep my gaze up.  Off of myself, more and more onto Jesus...