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Thank you.  For letting me know today that I don't have to come to you in strength.  That's why I need you, isn't it?  Because YOU are God... and I am not.  What need would I have for your strength if I could supply my own?  What need would I have for "acknowledging you in all my ways and not leaning on my own understanding" - if I could provide my own faith?  It all comes from you.

If there's any part of my shaking heart to see this journey through...
                                                                                                                                     ...it must be you.







Not gonna argue with fiery branches
That speak my name
Not gonna start taking backward glances
From where we came

'Cause tomorrow's holding our dreams
But today I'm here on my knees

O God of parting water
God of falling bread
If my words should falter
Then will You speak instead?


I don't know what life holds for me, or anyone else.  I don't know what you have planned for me, or what I have planned that you know won't come to pass.  I don't know what to "do" right now with my life, my time, my interests as I move on from high school.  I don't know who (or if??) I'm going to marry.  I don't know how I'm going to raise children in a way that pleases you - because I don't always know what pleasing you looks like even now.  I really really don't know how I'm going to homeschool.  I don't know what the difference is between ministry, education, "furthering interests", or just loving the people you have put around me.  What real ministry is, and what just appears to be "real" and important ministry.  I don't know if you want me home or to be out in the world more. 

I don't know what's following my heart and what's following my Savior.

But Jesus... God of parting water... if my words and my understanding and my faith falters, 
then will you speak instead?  

Speak into my heart.  Speak into others through mine.

 I don't know if you're actually able to use me to make a difference in this world, wherever I am - cause I don't feel you can.  I don't know what you're doing inside of me, because it feels like chaos.  Yet... somehow there's peace?  Somehow you use this wretched worm... somehow you loved it enough to die for it.  Somehow you love it enough to send your Spirit into it, and trust it to bear your image to the world.  Somehow you will love it enough to bring it into your Kingdom of love and light to live with it forever.  SOMEHOW.  And if you love me enough to do ALL THIS - I believe that you will love me enough to reveal yourself and your plans to me.  Give me grace to trust, to have faith as I wait on you.

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights. (Habakkuk 3)

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